Jesus taught that the two greatest commandments are to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves. Yet loving others well can be challenging, especially when people are imperfect and relationships require patience, grace and intentionality.
On Sept. 28–30, Bob Russell will explore Primary Relationship Lessons From Secondary Bible Characters at The Cove. In this Q&A, Russell reflects on five decades of marriage and ministry, sharing lessons he wishes he’d learned earlier and wisdom from his own marriage.
Q: After decades of ministry and leadership, what are some lessons you wish you had learned earlier about leading people well?
A: Earlier in my ministry, I wish I had been aware of how closely people observed my behavior. They watch the leader like a hawk to determine if we walk the talk. For example, I would have been more conscious early on of how observant people are of our marriage and family. Since so many families are falling apart, church leaders have a golden opportunity to glorify God by modeling a loving, lasting marriage. I wouldn’t have pretended to have a perfect marriage, but I would have made a more conscious effort to be tender and compassionate toward my wife in public settings rather than being so private about my love for her.
Q: You and Judy have been married for more than 50 years. What have you learned about building a marriage that remains strong and spiritually grounded over the long haul?
A: We’ve learned that it’s possible to disagree and still love each other. We don’t get panicky if there is an unpleasant exchange. FIDO: “Forget it and Drive on!”
We’ve learned the importance of tone and body language when communicating about sensitive subjects.
We’ve learned the importance of impromptu opportunities for physical touch. Just a pat on the arm as we pass in the kitchen or holding hands in prayer at mealtime reminds us that we’re still important to one another.
We’ve learned to be content when there’s nothing to say and nothing exciting to do. The two have indeed become one, and we’re totally comfortable with silence.
We’ve learned repeatedly the value of laughter and being joyful in all circumstances.
We’ve learned the most precious part of the day comes after we pray together, kiss goodnight and she says, “I love you, Mr. Russell,” and I say, “I love you, too.” (Why “Mr. Russell” I don’t know … but I like it!)
Q: Is there a secondary Bible character whose example has personally changed the way you relate to other people?
A: The story of Barnabas in the book of Acts inspires me to be alert to various ways I can encourage other believers—especially my own family. Sometimes a generous gift, sometimes helping to network another’s gift, sometimes just extending the grace of forgiveness can be a huge boost to a believer in need of reinforcement.
Q: Is there a lesser-known Bible character you think Christians tend to overlook—and what can we learn from them?
A: Philip, the evangelist, in Acts 8 seems to have been a guy with a gift for leading people to Christ. But I’ve not heard many sermons about him. Whether preaching to the masses or having a one-on-one dialogue with a foreign dignitary, Philip was alert to opportunities to proclaim Christ. It appears to be as natural as breathing for him to respond to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and ask questions of unsaved people in order to talk to them about the salvation that only Jesus can bring.
Q: What do you hope people take away from the seminar and apply to their own relationships?
A: I hope people will be alerted to opportunities to “spur one another on to love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24), because the days are evil and the return of the Lord is near.
Join Bob Russell for Primary Relationship Lessons From Secondary Bible Characters at The Cove, Sept. 28–30, for a time of Biblical teaching and encouragement focused on building stronger, Christ-centered relationships. Reserve your spot and explore other upcoming events at TheCove.org/events.